Have you picked out your Halloween costume yet? Stand out in a sea of trick-or-treating unicorns, pirates, and witches — we’ll show you how to dress up as farmer!
First, decide what type of farmer you’d like to be…it makes a difference in what you choose for an outfit! Dairy farmer? Get ready to waft barnyard smells into any room you enter, and build up those bags under your eyes from the 4am milking you did twelve hours ago. Make sure your clothes have hydraulic oil, cow poop, and who knows what other stains on them. Your boots might fit a little funny, as you’ll have some stray straw and an uncomfortable amount of sawdust wedged inside.
Maybe you’d rather be a fruit and vegetable farmer. Get that soil all over your clothes, and absolutely caked into your fingernails. Be bundled in layers but make sure your outer layer is a flannel button down, covering up the t-shirt tan line that still remains from long hours of weeding in the summer sun. Add a crumpled up Johnny’s Seeds envelope to your pocket, plus last week’s CSA list, the pesky weed you just pulled a few rows back, and a stray Mason jar lid for good measure.
Whatever type of farmer you choose to be, remember one thing: Carhartt overalls are your friend. Fill those pockets full of twine, maybe a syringe or two, have a couple of pens that don’t work, a chunk of mystery wire, a stripped out screwdriver and a sharp knife. Your clothes need to look as if they should have been discarded four years ago, and generally either two sizes too big or too small! Don’t wear your Sunday best, because once you wear your clothes for farming they will reach a point of no return among the nicer outfits in your closet. And don’t bother checking the forecast for Halloween night; as a farmer you’ll have no choice but to get the job done, whether the ground has a layer of frost, the rain is relentless, or you’re not feeling all that up to it.
No matter how your farmer costume ultimately turns out, just know that you are representing some of the hardest working, most resilient of individuals. And that is worthy of a Snickers bar!
